Perfectly Sinful

A Day at the Beach

2009-04-26T10:25:00.002-04:00

Hyderabad meets Wilmington

2009-04-26T10:21:00.002-04:00

One of my friends from Hyderabad's permanent residence is in Wilmington, DE, only about an hour awy from my parents home. She was kind enough to invite myself and my mother to a ladies lunch where we got to meet a variety of her U.S. friends.After lunch she showed us where the Indian grocery store is so I could get all the ingredients I need to create an Indian feast! Spices and daals galore!

Baking

2009-04-26T10:18:00.003-04:00

While in India, I greatly missed my oven, so upon my return I quickly started baking cakes and cookies. Umes sent me some great Indian cake recipes which I made to bring a sweet taste of India to my parents. Here's the banana cake in process!

Conehead!

2009-04-21T09:03:00.002-04:00

Exploring Chapel Hill

2009-04-21T08:56:00.005-04:00

The spice and herb section of a nearby grocery... we'll be able to make lots of great curries with these! Daals and rices and grains galore! I can't wait until my chef arrives :)

Glorious, glorious produce:

Demonstrating the avocado section:

Talking with the realtor while in downtown Chapel Hill:

Where did I leave my keys?

Our adorable new home:

Lula and Yaara: Best Friends

2009-04-13T07:28:00.002-04:00

Springtime Dog Play

2009-04-12T11:31:00.002-04:00

Yaara Starts to Understand the Concept of Toys

2009-04-06T20:39:00.003-04:00

Sunset Out the Kitchen Window

2009-04-06T20:36:00.001-04:00

Family Dinner

2009-04-06T20:35:00.001-04:00

Springtime at Stillpond

2009-04-06T11:38:00.004-04:00

Here are some typical scenes in the springtime at my parent's house.
Dad planting his garden: New addition Yaara basking in the sunlight:

Mom, Yaara, and Zeus hanging out on the porch:

Mom & Zeus lounging on the swing:

Green grass, a young garden, and a daffodil field in full bloom:

Yaara saying hello to the camera:

Yaara

2009-04-06T10:13:00.005-04:00

Two days after returning to the States, I fulfilled my wish for the year of getting a dog. I headed down to the Kent County Humane Society and took home this timid shepherd/lab mix. He had come into the shelter a few days previously from a neglect situation. He's about 10 months old, but had spent his whole life chained up and had no idea about anything in the world. So, he spent the first day learning what a leash was, how to go up and down stairs, and how to get into and out of a car. Basically, he's a totally ignorant puppy in the body of a nearly full-grown dog. I named him Yaara, which means "loyal friend" in Hindi; I'm sure he will live up to his name. He was pretty timid at first, but super sweet and friendly, so I decided that my first order of business was to build his confidence in the world and teach him how to play, run, and enjoy life. Luckily, my parents 5 year old German Shepherd was a good teacher in how to be a guard dog. When my sister's 2 year old Portie came to visit, Yaara chased her away! I think he just wanted to play with her, but didn't know how to ask, since the only dog he's ever played with is the aforementioned very dominant Shepherd. After the interaction below, all three dogs became fast friends and rolled around in the backyard together for about an hour.

Back in the USA!

2009-04-01T16:15:00.002-04:00

Umes will continue his guest post at some point, but in the meantime, a notice that the content of this blog is about to change dramatically. I have returned to the U.S. as a (half) married woman and now must wait for my hubby while his visa gets approved. To help ease his transition, I will be posting little snippets of my life back here in America. I'll write about the mundane details of my daily life, post lots of photos of our new dog (yet to be acquired) and as I notice the little differences between the U.S. and India I'll post them. Hopefully Umes will feel like he already knows his new home before he even gets here. Now, off to get paperwork completed for that fiance visa...

Umes speaks! (also known as "the husband")

2009-03-24T09:23:00.006-04:00

Do I hear ya babbling about cultural differences? Yes. I faced it. In the bathroom. In the first month of living with a white girl. Three months after we first met. She wanted paper and I knew my beloved little brown mug was in danger of being obsolete. So obsolete that she proposed we use it to collect the water draining out of the AC duct. That very instant I knew it. This was going to be decided the good old-fashioned way. We had declared war.

She won. I now use paper with glee. Crying out for more. Together as a couple, we run through reams and reams of it. But that's not the story you paid for. So, I will stop and tell you my story. An eye-witness account of 'what the hell happened to M in India'.

She came. That much you know. Carrying heavy baggages from the past and loads of expectations and she was caught. By the Customs. Even though her first brush with India didn't go so well (a dark swarthy lecherous Customs official brushed his hands against her), she was determined to put it behind her (the brush and NOT THE HANDS!) and seek out her Indian adventures.

So, keeping with her theme of making friends and enjoying her youth, M joined TEA. Do I hear applause? And well deserved too. Lovely lovely club it was. People in their 60's waltzing to slow music or espousing on diabetes. Some even talked of their bowel movements but what's a good club without diseases strewn around? It was a heartening sight too. On the weekly meetings. Such passion. Such gusto. And all that from wheelchairs. It made a man stand back and take notice.

But's thats not how we met. Before M met me, she had written down the 10 most important things she wanted in her man. Always a good idea if you actually want to meet the '10-qualities-guy' of your diary. Even though my mind wanders to what Dick Cheney's wife wrote before she 'happened' to run into Dickie, I can safely say that Adonis and Greek God weren't part of Martha's little note to herself. My favorite theory is that perhaps God couldn't really read her handwriting and made me appear or it might be blamed on the fact that Martha was a little drunk on bad Indian wine, but the fact remains that both of us were on an inevitable collision course. And we had no idea.

It all started with a little case of gas. M had it. So, she started slinking away to the rear end of the TEA party. But little did she know that someone right there was already at it. Eye met and M made friends with Aunt C, my sole emotional support in Hyderabad.

(to be concluded)

Oh Alanis

2009-03-10T04:29:00.002-04:00

I've been surprisingly healthy during my stay here in India. I've certainly had my share of pollution headaches and head colds, but I'd never suffered from the serious stomach upset for which India is famous. My friends joked that I had a stomach of steel... I could travel anywhere and I'd never gotten food poisoning. In fact, the one time I've ever thrown up in India was when I was swallowing a Cipro for a minor infection and it hit my gag reflex inducing me to vomit. Nope, not food poisoning, and no, I didn't spend hours worshipping the porcelain goddess. Just a simple gag reflex.

Well, now that I've lived in India for a full year, eaten street food, drank tap water, and had full meals costing less than $0.50, I got sick. I got an intestinal infection after blowing $50 on cocktails and appetizers at the one upscale restaurant in the city that caters to foreigners. I'd eaten there before with no problem and had even hosted a party there for over 100 people. It was one of the "safe" restaurants to eat at in the city and I wasn't going to take any chances the night before my wedding. Oh how wrong I was. After 5 days of diarrhea, Umes insisted on taking me to the hospital where I was diagnosed with "normal intestinal infection from eating outside food" and given three different prescriptions to clear it up. I'm now on a restricted diet of yoghurt and parathas as my stomache recovers.

Vomiting from Cipro.
Stomach infection from food at the "expat restaurant."

Isn't it ironic. Dontcha think?

You Got Married!?!? Oh, that's nice.

2009-03-10T04:10:00.002-04:00

As a typical American woman, when my boyfriend of ten months proposed we get married within the next few weeks, my reaction was "whoa, no way, this is way too soon." To me, the natural progression of a relationship was dating for a year or more, engagement for a year or more, and finally getting married. However, this typical American woman moved to India and fell in love with an Indian. Here, dating is unheard of, engagement is a brief period of a few weeks, and marriage means you're actually in a commited relationship. So, we compromised our cultures and had a Hindu wedding a few days later to be followed by an American wedding in a few years. While I knew our personal views on marriage were strongly influenced by culture, I didn't realize how much so until we started to tell others of the news.

My American friends' reactions came as no surprise to me. "Whoa, this is a big decision, are you sure you're ready for this?" "Isn't this a bit fast." And of course the undertone of "Have you gone off your rocker." I understood these reactions, they're what mine would've been. Had I not been the one discussing and debating the decision for the previous few weeks, I would've been equally shocked and probably quite judgmental. As a result, I've been hesitant to tell people about the wedding and am still having a hard time with the words "married" and "husband." Since this is the first of our weddings, I kinda feel like we're half-married; we're somewhere beyond engagement but until I have my traditional American ceremony, I just won't be able to feel like I'm really truly married.

In theory, I understood Umes's push for us to have a Hindu wedding. I know that anything besides marriage isn't really respected here and that it was important to him to have our commitment to each other respected as real and true by his community. However, I still thought people would be a bit shocked since it happened after only 10 months and some of my work friends didn't even know I was dating anyone. Oh how wrong I was. The other day he came to my office with me and I introduced him as my husband. Nobody batted an eye. They simply said "oh, that's nice" and "nice to meet you." There was no surprise at us being married and people who did know of us dating seemed genuinely relieved that we had (finally) gotten married. Here, marriage is just a fact a life. It's what you do. It's not a "big decision" the way it is in the U.S. When you get to a certain age you get married. You commit to someone (who you may or may not know) and build a life as a family.

The dichotomy of reactions and the different perspectives they represent was truly eye opening. I don't think anything in my year of living here could've prepared me for the realization of the vast cultural divide between India and the U.S.

Hyderabadi Shaadi

2009-03-05T23:21:00.006-05:00

As the realization that I would be leaving Hyderabad in a few short weeks hit Umes and I, we decided that it was important to both of us to solidify our commitment to one another more officially than we already had. Because of our respective dating pasts and since the only real commitment recognized in India is marriage, we decided to have a traditional Hindu marriage ceremony. So, last weekend we started looking for priests and locations which would perform a shortened version of the ceremony for us (the real ceremony is about 8 hours long). After having our auto driver (who thinks we're Muslim) drive us to 3 temples all across town only to be rejected since I'm not a Hindu, we were starting to get a bit concerned. However, Umes had the business card of a local Oriya (his state) priest whom he thought would perform the ceremony. We called the priest and he was out of town, but would return on Monday morning. So, we put off wedding planning and went to a crafts fair where I found a gorgeous saree that I decided to buy on a whim as a potential wedding saree.

Later that day Umes found his March horoscope and read it as he does every month. He quickly turned to me and said "we have to get married on Wednesday." My reply was shock and confusion seeing as it was already Sunday night and we had made no preparations whatsoever. Moreover, we didn't have a priest and wouldn't be able to even talk to one until Monday night. Both our horoscopes made it very clear, however, that Venus was going to be in retrograde starting on the 6th (Friday) so getting married anytime after (or near) that time would be very inauspicious for both Libras and Sagis. We started to panic but realized there was nothing we could do until Monday night.

On Monday evening we met with the Oriya priest who confirmed that he would perform the ceremony no later than Wednesday afternoon and that it should begin sometime between 2:00 and 4:00 in the afternoon. So, we said okay and embarked upon 36 hours of completely chaotic wedding planning. That evening we went to get fabric for the petticoat and blouse for my saree and started desperately calling tailors to see if they could stitch my blouse within a few hours the next day. We then went home and emailed our family and close friends in Hyderabad asking them to join us for our last minute celebration. There was obviously a lot of shock but excitement in their responses. My parents quickly said they wanted to discuss it over Skype and since it was 9pm and we hadn't eaten dinner yet, we talked to them about it while I stirred pasta and chopped tomatoes. Luckily they were supportive and just disappointed that they couldn't be there.

Then a few phone calls were made to friends who were crucial to the ceremony. The most important being a close friend here who could stand in as a father figure and "give me away." Without him, the ceremony couldn't happen. We also wanted to ensure that a couple of our other closest friends could make it, particularly the woman who introduced us. Upon completing those tasks, we fell into bed exhausted and making lists of all the things that needed to be done on Tuesday to prepare for Wednesday's ceremony.

Tuesday was insane. The tailor who told us they'd get the blouse done had come down with a fever and was now unavailable; I officially had nothing to wear to my wedding. The florist started quoting ridiculous prices and we didn't have any snacks in the house to feed our guests on Wednesday. We asked our landlord for use of a spare room on our floor and luckily she offered it willingly. When it became clear around noon that the tailor really was not going to stitch my blouse I desperately asked my landlady if she knew of anyone. Luckily she did, so we went to the other side of town to get measured and have my blouse stitched. On the way back we stopped at the grocery store and the sweets shop to get nourishment for our guests. We then figured out a plan to rearrange the furniture so that the couch and chairs could go in our bedroom where there was air conditioning. We weren't going to ask our guests to stay in the 102 degree heat all afternoon! Anshuman and I both went out briefly with friends on Tuesday night so we could have bachelor and bachelorette "parties." We each had one cocktail with one friend and then ended up meeting up all together for snacks. Needless to say, we'll need to have genuine parties before our American wedding.

Wednesday morning came and we started our mad dash to the altar. Neither of us could eat per Oriya tradition, so we had lots to do and little energy or time. We rearranged the household furniture and our maid showed up on time to help get the house cleaned up and organize things. The florist showed up (late and after several phone calls) and things seemed to be on track. Then I tried on my blouse and realized that it was too small by about 2 inches. There was absolutely no way it was going to close over my ribcage. Umes realized that he had forgotten to buy his clothes for the wedding as he was supposed to wear a brand new kurta. So, around 10:30 he embarked upon a journey to get garlands, have my blouse restitched, buy his clothes, and pick up the samosas and sweets from the caterer. He was to be home no later than 1:00 or I would start to panic. I stayed home to supervise the florist and the maid and handle any phone calls.

I got into the shower around noon to begin to prepare myself to be a bride. Painting my own toenails and doing my hair and makeup alone were not exactly what I ever pictured on my wedding day, but I managed to accomplish it. Umes made it home (barely) by 1:00 and my friend had arrived by then to help me tie my saree (we figured we needed at least an hour to do this). Around 2:00, the saree was on (thanks to the help of the maid; we never would've accomplished it on our own).

I then realized in a panic that it was already 2:00 and my family was awake in the middle of the night in Maryland waiting for my call so they could watch the ceremony via Skype. I called them, told them that we weren't ready yet and the priests weren't there and to just hold on and wait and we'd make sure the connection was good when things actually started happening.

Since my face and hair were starting to melt off from the 100 degree heat at that point, I said goodbye and headed back to the air conditioned bedroom. Our guests started to arrive and we all hung out in the bedroom while we waited for the priests, who were about an hour late. Upon their arrival we discovered that there were a few items that they hadn't expressly told us we needed under the assumption that any Indian household would have them. These included images of a god and clean sheets to put on the floor to sit on. Luckily a milk-painted god image was a reasonable subsitute as were some of the old rugs sitting in a cupboard. Finally, the ceremony began.

We sat for three hours in front of a fire in 100 degree afternoon heat and went through all the important rituals of a Hindu marriage ceremony. The Skype session worked beautifully the whole time and my Dad was able to answer questions about his grandfather's name and could "give me away" virtually. Being able to look up and see my family online from time to time made the whole thing easier. By the time the ceremony was over, we were all completely exhausted and overwhelmed, but quite happy and proud of ourselves for making it through 48 hours of total chaos. We were finally (half) married and totally pooped. Here are some pictures of the big event.

Scared

2009-03-02T02:25:00.003-05:00

My apologies for not posting. I'm feeling very apprehensive and scared these days. Nervous about leaving my fiance here in India, worried about the transition for both of us to the U.S., and upset by the state of the global economy and its implications for our career goals and futures. The next few months are going to be a huge transition time for me (and us) and while I know that in the long-run things are going to be fine, I'm experiencing a lot of self-doubt and fear in the present and about the near-term future. Posting will likely remain intermittent, but your love and support during this emotional period is appreciated.

This Week's Events...

2009-02-16T08:28:00.002-05:00

... will be posted on my sister's blog at lulaonlaurel.blogspot.com.

Check it out for L's exciting trip to Hyderabad!

Things I Can't Wait to Eat When I Get Back to the US (i.e. Hints for my Parents and Sister to Have the Fridge Stocked)

2009-02-13T02:52:00.002-05:00

My sister arrives in Hyderabad early tomorrow morning (in fact, she's currently somewhere between Amsterdam and Mumbai) and as I've been thinking about all the delicious Indian foods I want to feed her, I've also started thinking about all the things that I want to eat when my plane lands back in the US in a few months. So, here's the list so far. It may reflect poor dietary habits and even poorer taste, but hey, I miss these foods!
-arugula and baby spinach salad
-avocados
-fresh fruit and vegetables straight out of the garden without disinfecting
-cherry tomatoes, asparagus, and peas eaten directly off the vine in the garden... no washing required!
-nachos
-enchiladas
-pie
-Ellio's Frozen Pizza (yes, I know it's disgusting, but it was a special treat as a kid and I still love it)
-Procolino's pizza
-wood fired pizza from my Dad's oven
-homemade oven-baked crunchy topped mac 'n cheese
-cookies that I baked myself (ok, this one doesn't really count since I miss the baking more than the cookies)
-cheese, cheese, and more cheese... especially good cheddar, dubliner, and camembert
-Carr's water crackers (to eat shamelessly with the aforementioned cheese and fruit)
-good bread: chewy baguettes, crunchy whole-grain loafs, delicious rolls
-homemade biscuits slathered with butter and raspberry jam
-whole-grain pancakes with real maple syrup
-nice tart orange juice (the juice here is made with super sweet oranges)
-seltzer water

Ok, I need to stop now before I eat the entire contents of my fridge in a vain attempt to cure my cravings for the above foods, none of which are actually contained within my fridge.

Snow World

2009-01-30T06:58:00.002-05:00

While I've posted some pictures and alluded to the snow in Hyderabad, I don't believe I've ever actually explained myself. It pretty much never gets below 70 degrees farenheit in Hyderabad. There were about 3 blissful weeks in early January where the highs were in the mid 80s. Now, they're back to the mid 90s. So, how did I get to spend some time frollicking in the snow this winter? At this fantastically hilarious (and un-hygenic) place called Snow World. It's a giant warehouse that basically looks like a converted cold storage building that is kept just below freezing for people to frollick in man-made snow. The scene itself is worth a trip: a couple hundred Hyderabadis who are used to hot temperatures being put into matching polyester snow gear complete with rubber boots and mittens. I was sweating profusely by the time I got them on (in the un-chilled room) and had flashbacks to getting dressed to go play in the snow as a child. Picture Ralphie in "A Christmas Story."Once we were deemed appropriately attired, we were allowed into the snow warehouse where we could play in an imaginary winter wonderland. I was the only person who didn't wear her hat and gloves. We even had an actual snowfall inside! We could hang out with the abominable snowman.

And go "sledding". Note: this was a prime opportunity to throw snowballs on defenseless targets.

We even climbed mountains in Snow World.

Celebrity

2009-01-23T00:12:00.002-05:00

Hyderabad is probably one of the few cities in the world where I could approach celebrity status... without even trying. Because of my complexion, I am constantly searched out by photographers and reporters. Sometimes I feel like everyone is pointing at me as I walk down the street saying "whoa, look at the white girl." One such instance was the other day when I was perusing handicrafts at an all-India crafts mela. We were looking at salwar suits and handmade jewelry when a tv reporter and her videographer approached and asked where I was visiting from. When I said I lived in Banjara Hills, they were elated. They then insisted on interviewing me for their coverage of the event.

President Obama!

2009-01-21T01:31:00.005-05:00

One of the reasons I've been a bit negligent about posting daily is that I've been quite busy pulling things together for the Hyderabad Inaugural Ball. As Chair of Democrats Abroad Hyderabad, I organized a dinner, dancing and drinks ball for those of us in Hyderabad excited about the 44th President of the United States! I had a theme drink for the evening; an "Obamagranate" Martini:
Umes was crucial to my sanity over the past few weeks as I went from worrying about selling enough tickets to turning away over 100 people because we were sold out! He even played the doorman and collected all the tickets for me.
My friend Lisa and I had her Aunties help us into our sarees so we'd be appropriately festive on the ocassion; I'd say we succeeded.

There was about a 45 minute pause in the mingling and dancing during which we watched Obama get inaugurated and make his Inaugural Address LIVE! The time difference really worked in our favor this time! People were raptured and cheering throughout the speech. My personal favorite line was about the Christians, Muslims, Jews, Hindus and non-believers all being united: our party definitely had representation of all five groups, among others!

After Obama's speech we all got back to partying with lots of fantastic dancing. We were lucky enough to count about 25 study abroad students as our attendees who added boundless energy and enthusiasm to the event.Overall it was a night enjoyed by all. I was even rewarded for my efforts with a front-page quote on the Times of India. Tomorrow we'll hopefully have some photos in the paper and the weekly "People"-type magazine is doing a feature on our event!

I cried.

2009-01-17T10:42:00.003-05:00

I know I have failed on my New Year's resolution, but that's part of the point, right? Nobody actually keeps these things. To make up for it, I'll put a more personal post out there today (gasp!)

My boyfriend and I have been quite busily planning our future since he is Indian, I am American, and I am returning to the U.S. on the last day of March. We've had to really think about what we want and have had many discussions about how we're going to make our relationship work and the next steps we want to take. After many many talks we've decided to get engaged before I leave India in a traditional Hindu ceremony. We'll get married when he decides to come to the U.S. in a year or so (the exact date will be determined based on job prospects, school breaks, etc.) After we're married, we'll start planning 2 weddings: a traditional Hindu ceremony and a modern Unitarian ceremony. Because he is a bit of a traditionalist, we decided to have two ceremonies rather than merging the two traditions into one.

We were both happy with this solution, but I have not come to terms with the idea of having a 15 hour Sanskrit ceremony where I don't understand what's going on. It's very important to me that I am conscious and knowing about what I'm doing on my wedding day (even if it is just 1 of 3). Today, while we were walking back from talking to a Priest about the engagement ceremony, I brought it up again. I told him I don't want to do a Hindu ceremony unless we have a translator of some sort. He insisted that it was impossible to find a bilingual priest and that there can only be 3 people on the altar, so a translator was impossible. We fought about it the whole way home and I got increasingly angry that he wasn't willing to compromise and that we couldn't come up with a solution. Then he dropped the bomb "I know Sanskrit and wanted to translate the entire ceremony for you as a surprise on our wedding day." I wanted to punch him in the face and give him a huge kiss at the same time, so naturally, I just cried.

Such a lovely romantic notion: my husband translating an ancient text about love alound to me while we went through rituals that have been performed for thousands of years. I was floored. I had so misread the situation: I thought he had no concern for my feelings on the day when he was doing everything he could to make me elated that day. And yet I was so mad! We could've avoided all these arguments and all my stress about it if he'd just told me. AGH!

Since my tears have dried and I've stopped blowing my nose, I am now just happy. Happy to have someone who cares so much that he'll do anything to surprise me with joy, happy to know how wonderful our wedding day(s) will be, and happy to have finally busted the secret!

Charminar

2009-01-12T03:14:00.000-05:00

The most famous landmark in Hyderabad:

Bangles

2009-01-12T03:12:00.003-05:00

These are some of the famous Hyderabadi crystal bangles. People come from all over India to shop in the bangle shops near the Charminar.

Snow Dance

2009-01-12T02:55:00.002-05:00

Ahh, the nice cold winters of Hyderabad!

Your Taxpayer Rupees

2009-01-10T00:22:00.006-05:00

Oops! I missed posting yesterday, so there will be two today to make up for it. First, I'll share a little story about one of my errands yesterday:
A couple days ago I saw an advertisement in the newspaper for a Ravi and Anoushka Shankar concert here in Hyderabad. There were no details about ticket purchases except an email address to write to for more information. I emailed requesting tickets and got the following reply:

"Dear Sir / Madam,
Thank you very much for your interest in attending the Concert of Pt. Ravishankar and Anoushka. For your information this is not a ticketed event and entry is by invitation only. We can reserve invitations for you as per your actual requirements. Please respond to us accordingly. Meanwhile, we require more details about you particularly about your background, your organization, your employment details etc. This information is needed to update our database.
Looking forward to receive this information from you."

So, I replied with the information that I am an American management consultant working with municipalities here and that I require 3 passes for myself, my husband (boyfriend/fiance don't exactly exist here) and a friend visiting from the States. I was told they would reserve invitations for me and that I should go pick them up from the tourism office.

Yesterday, I headed to the tourism office with my confirmation email and waited in line for about 15 minutes. Then an officer shuffled through a pile of all the printed out emails he had received about the tickets until he found mine. He read it, checked it against mine, and a handwritten list he had and then gave me the tickets. A highly efficient system!

Not only was it humorous that the entire process had been moved from electronic communications to hand-written notes and print-outs, it was somewhat horrifying to realize that the government of A.P. was paying for me to go to the concert of a world-reknowned musician. In a country where almost all municipalities are bankrupt, public services are at a minimum, and corruption runs rampant, the government is spending it's money on entertaining the rich.

Still Sick...

2009-01-08T08:27:00.003-05:00

... but here's a common scene in India. People lined up to get water. This tanker probably only comes once or twice a week and the only water they get is that which they can carry back to their homes (the tents in the background). Even when I'm feeling miserable and sick at home, I count my blessings that I can turn on a faucet and get running water to take a hot shower, cook, or clean. Most people in India don't have this luxury and it's certainly not something I'll ever take for granted again.

Sick.

2009-01-07T09:20:00.003-05:00

I have a very yucky cold. My nose is all stuffed up and my throat burns. Thus, this is as much of a post as I'm up for today. Thanks Umes for passing on your germs!

Hyderabad in December

2009-01-06T06:16:00.002-05:00

Confused? Come back tomorrow for an explanation to this meteorological mystery!

Fuzzy Fella'

2009-01-06T06:11:00.002-05:00

This little cutie lives on my block along with his Mom and a few friends. I don't know who exactly they belong to since they roam the streets freely, but they are all awfully cute and help me get an equine fix here in Hyderabad!

Birthday!

2009-01-06T06:00:00.003-05:00

My birthday was about 3 months ago and was one of my best birthdays to date. I don't know why I never posted about it here, so I will do so now since it is long overdue. The day started out fantastically when I walked out of the house for lunch and found a camel waiting to greet me:

The afternoon was spent having lunch with my boyfriend and going on a mini shopping spree financed by him. The jewelry box and skirt we bought that day remain among my favorites. We went home to rest in the evening since we were headed to a friend's for drinks and then dinner out that night. However, upon arriving at my close friends' home for what I thought was simply going to be a glass of wine before dinner I received a fantastic surprise: almost all of my friends in Hyderabad were there to celebrate with me! What's more, there were life-size photos of my family and dogs with Happy Birthday signs all the way from the U.S. of A. They had found all of my favorite yet hard to find foods in Hyderabad- salads, cheeses, and wine! There were friends to be silly with and kids to help me blow out the candles on my cake.

I cannot express my thanks enough to my "Foster family" my boyfriend, and my family for coordinating all of this and making it a birthday to truly remember. They worked across continents (literally!) to make sure I had a great day and a fun surprise. THANK YOU!

Sari!

2009-01-03T04:37:00.003-05:00

After 9 months in India and upon receiving one as a gift, I decided it was time to face my fears and conquer the art of wearing a sari. Umes insisted that he knew how to tie one and could help. So, we took out all 9 meters of fabric and started to wrap them around me. Our attempt left me forlorn and looking more like a potato sack than an elegant Indian woman:

However, upon enlisting our neighbor, I managed to get myself into one without looking too horribly disheveled. Would any respectable woman go out like this? No. But hey, it's a start.

Best Breakfast Ever!

2009-01-02T04:20:00.002-05:00

A year ago, when I was vacationing India with my family, I discovered the dosa. I made a habit of ordering a masala dosa and fresh squeezed juice every morning. I loved them so much that I'd wake up in the morning and start singing a song in their honor: "I'm ready for some juice and dosas, yeah, yeah, yeah." There's a reason I'm not a lyricist. Anyway, I've rediscovered my love of dosa's here in Hyderabad and am lucky enough to have a great dosa place just across the street, so I head over to Ohri's for breakfast fairly regularly. Here's my dosa and Umes enjoying his on a recent Sunday morning:
As you can see, dosas sort of like a crepe. They're cooked until crispy and made out of rice and lentil flours. They can be filled with all sorts of things, my favorite of which is the traditional masala dosa. This is a mixture of onions, potatoes, chana dal and seasonings that are just the right mix of comforting and spicy. Dosas are traditionally served with chutneys and sambar... coconut chutney, mint chutney, and tomato-ginger chutney. Sambar is a spicy tomato soup that is great for dosa dipping.

Mmm, I'm getting hungry just writing about them!

Resolution

2009-01-02T01:54:00.003-05:00

I am well aware that I've been rather amiss in posting over the past few months. So, my new year's resolution is to post every day for the month of January (at least!) to get the blog updated and have a digital record of my great year in Hyderabad. Since I didn't post yesterday, there will be 2 today to make up for it! So, lets start from Dec 31 and move backwards. My boyfriend and I spent New Year's at a Belgian friend's house for a relaxing evening of cocktails, food, conversation, and celebration. We were joined by her lovely St. Bernard Coca:

Her yard was lit up with twinkle lights making it look like a mystical fairyland perfect for making new friends and celebrating the coming of 2009.

Shortly after midnight, Umes and I took our first picture together of 2009! I think it's pretty cute considering we took it ourselves:

Happy New Year Everyone!

Next Year

2008-12-16T09:04:00.001-05:00

I am pleased to announce that I will be returning from Hyderabad sometime during the first half of 2009 and will be heading to Chapel Hill, North Carolina over the summer to start business school at Kenan-Flagler (UNC's school).

My Fabulously Tacky Hyderabadi Christmas Tree

2008-12-16T09:00:00.002-05:00

Yes We Did!

2008-11-08T07:17:00.004-05:00

While it would've been amazing to be in the U.S. to watch the historic election, being in Hyderabad with a group of Americans was pretty spectacular too. There was a sense of pride in our American status that many of us hadn't felt in a very long time. As the Chair of the Hyderabad Chapter of Democrats Abroad, it was a proud morning for me on 2 counts. I was proud of my country for electing Barack Obama, and proud of myself for helping expats in Hyderabad do so! I organized 7 events leading up to the election including debate screenings and ballot collections and I fielded countless calls from nervous expats trying to figure out how to cast their ballots. Thanks to the hard work of countless volunteers and the personal strength, charisma, intelligence, and eloquence of Barack Obama, I had tears of joy on the morning of November 5, 2008. (Yes, in India the election results weren't in until Wednesday morning. Here are some pictures of the 100+ American who gathered to watch the election results early on Monday morning:

We had significant press coverage of our event as the Indian news services wanted an American perspective of the momentous occasion:
Unfortunately, some members of the Indian press proved themselves to be less open-minded than the U.S. electorate. While taking a photo of the celebrations, a photographer asked an Indian-American woman in a saree to move out of the picture as he wanted "Americans only". I quickly corrected him and told him that if he wanted any pictures of our event he was not going to discriminate on racial grounds. If there's one thing this election taught us it's that Americans don't all look alike!

Congratulations Barack and congratulations America!

Diwali

2008-11-01T07:08:00.004-04:00

Diwali, the celebration of Ram's triumphant return to his kingdom, was on Tuesday. It is the closest thing that India has to Christmas as far as I can tell. People decorate for it, buy gifts, visit friends, and eat lots of sweets. Most businesses pretty much shut down for the week just like the week between Christmas and New Years in the U.S. However, one major difference is that for Diwali, people light fireworks. Fireworks are not regulated the way they are in the U.S. so anyone can buy any type of firework they want and set them off at home, which means the sky is filled with them and the air all across the city gets thick with smoke (even worse than the everyday smog)! Here are some photos I took of the fireworks:

The fireworks felt a bit more like this though since the explosions all around were disorienting and the fireworks were going off literally all around us (one even fell on the roof about 10 feet from us):

I make a nice daal for dinner and we lit lots of candles per tradition. Lamps were lit all over the kingdom to recognize Ram's return:Motichoor ke laddu is the traditional sweet that is eaten at Diwali. Since they happen to be little orange balls and Diwali happens to be near Halloween, I decided to decorate some as Jack-o-Lanterns. I'm starting to get lots of good ideas for Indian-American recipes, celebrations, etc.

24 Hours of Panic

2008-10-22T05:46:00.002-04:00

Last year I applied to business school. I was accepted and decided to decline the offer in order to spend a full year in Hyderabad. Upon deciding not to enroll, I corresponded with the admissions committee about deferral and re-application options. I was told that re-application was an easy process and in many ways a formality. So, about a week ago I sent in an updated resume and an application re-open form. On Monday night I was emailed a username and password to access my online application and was told that because the essay questions had changed, I needed to submit four new essays. Considering the application deadline was 3 days away, panic set in. I emailed the director of admissions to confirm and took a day off work to write feverishly. On Tuesday night, right as I was about to send my essays to my sister and dad for editing, I received an email from the admissions director. New staff members were unclear as to the re-application process; no new essays were required. I breathed a huge sigh of relief and slept peacefully.

The Pressure Cooker Incident

2008-10-16T07:19:00.001-04:00

I’ve always been scared of pressure cookers. My mom has had one for years and raves about it. The idea of pressure and the horribly loud sound they make have always kept me far out of the kitchen when she’s using it. But, I moved to India. Here, daal and other beans are staples of the diet and they all come dried. Getting your hands on cooking fuel is no easy task and spending hours in a hot kitchen when temperatures are already in the 90s is not appealing. The solution: the pressure cooker. Quick and efficient, you can make a delicious daal in 15 minutes flat.

And so I reluctantly agreed to purchase a pressure cooker. After using it a few times with supervision and slowly learning not to jump every time it whistles, I decided to embark upon some pressure cooking on my own. I made daalma, also known as lentil soup. My vegetables, lentils, spices, and seasonings were in, I sealed up the cooker and lit the stove. After about 4-5 whistles, I figured my soup was done. That’s when it dawned on me. I had no idea how to open the pressure cooker. I’d never used it on my own before and had never taken the job of opening it upon myself. All I knew was that I should probably let out some pressure before opening it and that it would probably pop when I did open it.

I started by removing the little nob that jumps up when steam builds up inside. There was very loud hissing and a steady stream of daal broth going straight to the ceiling. I decided that covering the ceiling with broth was probably not the appropriate way to use the cooker and quickly replaced the nob. Then I let the cooker sit for a bit thinking it just needed to calm down a bit and then I could open it.

Being impatient, I only let it sit for about 5 minutes before deciding to try to open it again. It wasn’t easy. I had to put some serious muscle into getting the handle to turn. I was prepared for a bit of a pop when I finally got it open and was careful to stand back. I was not at all prepared for what happened next. When I finally got the lid turned to the open position, the entire thing exploded! The lid flew out of my hand and there was boiling hot daalma raining down on me. The pressure of the cooker was so strong that my entire kitchen, floor to ceiling, was covered in lentils, vegetables, and broth. Needless to say, I was shocked. It took me a minute to regain my composure and figure out if I was hurt. Luckily there were only some minor burns on my shoulders and back from flying potatoes. My wet hair had protected my head and somehow my face had managed to avoid any contact with hot soup.

After a few deep breaths and accepting the fact that dinner was ruined, I cleaned up my soupy kitchen. I got the floor, counters, and most of the walls clean. However, I must admit that there are still tomatoes and potatoes stuck to my kitchen ceiling. While the kitchen is a little worse off, there is no permanent damage to me or to it.

And yes, I did learn how to use the pressure cooker properly. That little nob gets gently lifted up with a spoon to let all the steam out without causing a fountain of broth. Once the steam is out, the lid opens easily and there are no explosions. I can happily report that I have successfully opened the pressure cooker on numerous occasions since that fateful day.

Welcome to the Neighborhood

2008-10-14T07:11:00.002-04:00

This is the street where I live. Just like the rest of India it is quite the assortment of large houses, tents, garbage dumps, and expensive goods.
Here's the dumpster where we put our garbage. Notice the cows "grazing"nearby. This is the Audi dealership across the street.
Here's one of the many donkeys that roam up and down the street.
We also have our very own organic foods store. The only one in Hyderabad!
And of course, there is a Hindu temple on the corner.

Because They Can

2008-10-02T07:45:00.002-04:00

Financial Turmoil

2008-09-20T06:39:00.003-04:00

The other night I was out to dinner with a variety of young Americans who were members of Democrats Abroad (of which I am chair of the Hyderabad chapter). we were introducing ourselves to one another and talking about what we're doing in Hyderabad. One of them said "Well, I was working in mortgage backed securities at Lehman, but now I'm here living with my Grandparents and looking into microfinance." Everybody laughed until someone said "no really, what brings you to Hyderabad?" "I'm serious" was the reply. Awkward silence ensued. So, all of you who are reeling from the financial crisis on Wall Street, don't worry, we feel your pain! All the way across the world in Hyderabad.

For Denise

2008-08-28T02:11:00.003-04:00

Bomb Contol

2008-08-20T04:33:00.004-04:00

I'm at a workshop on capacity building for PPPs. The morning went off without a hitch and was uneventful. We came back from lunch to find a metal detector up and bomb sniffing German Shepherds. Why? The keynote speaker is the Minister of Urban Development. It seems like pretty heavy duty security, but then again, every mall has metal detectors and there have been lots of bombings in India.

Coming soon (soon being open to interpretation and really meaning "coming as soon as my high speed wireless is fixed"):

-welcome to the neighborhood

-my cold cold heart

-the pressure cooker incident

Out the Window

2008-08-11T04:57:00.000-04:00

Monsoon is in full swing here in Hyderabad. There have been 77 weather-related deaths in Andhra Pradesh this month and it didn’t stop raining all weekend. The wind was howling and there was significant thunder and lightning.

On Saturday night, I was in the kitchen doing dishes when there was a loud “boom” and the power shut off. Freaked out and confused by the noise, I went to investigate with a tiny LED keychain flashlight. I soon discovered that the Ethernet cord that usually comes in through the window and hooks into my wireless router was gone! (Yes, my internet connection comes into my house through the window. No, it is not an illegal connection, that’s just the way they install things). The router flying across the room and out the window had been the source of the noise. Moreover, the wireless router itself was missing.

I went outside to look for the router and investigate what could’ve had such force to pull the cable and router out the window when it had been wrapped around the window bars fairly securely. In the rain and dark everything looked fairly normal and it was impossible to locate anything. So I went to bed thankful that my wireless router was connected to the Ethernet cord and not my laptop. Who knew internet connections could be so dangerous!

In the morning, the wireless router was discovered... it had merely hit the window bars and ricocheted across the room. What happened to the Ethernet cord is still undetermined. All I know is that when they come to reinstall the internet, they better find a more reliable way of securing it!

India: where all your IT outsourcing needs are met. India: where internet connections literally fly out the window.

Bali Part III

2008-08-07T02:53:00.003-04:00

On one of our day trips to central Bali, we went to one of the most beautiful places I have ever been: Lake Bratan. The sun was shining, the sky was blue, the gardens were pristine, and the mountains were magnificent. The sun made all the flowers glow like this: The tall pines created a dramatic shadow effect on the lawns and gave a feeling of great size in this lovely garden.

The bathrooms at the garden were even polite enough to omit the end of the sentence describing the cost to use the facilities.
The highlight of Lake Bratan, however, was the spectacular water temple which appears to float just off the edge of the gardens.
After enjoying the beautiful lakeside gardens and temple, we went for a short hike to an incredible and dramatic waterfall.
To finish off the day, we played in the natural hot sulfur springs nearby.

Bali Part II

2008-08-05T02:53:00.003-04:00

On our third evening in Bali, we went to Uluwatu temple, which is on an incredible majestic cliff with spectacular views: There, we saw a Kecak dance performance of the Ramayana. I'll definitely remember the story more clearly now that I've seen it live!
While the views and dance were amazing, perhaps the highlight of the evening was the sky. The sunset was dramatic and almost every imaginable sky condition was visible within the horizon. Unfortunately, this picture does not do it justice:

Java

2008-08-01T11:14:00.005-04:00

While we were happily in paradise in Bali, 4 of us decided that a day trip to Java was in order so we could see a bit more of Indonesia. Upon arrival, we were amused by the incredibly phonetic spelling of taxi at the airport:
First order of the day was to see Borobudor (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borobudur), the very impressive Buddhist temple.

We also made sure to think like anthropologists and observe the visitors. Our favorite fellow tourist was Madam Sparklehat with the tight jeans. (I never said I was a nice person). We also visited the Sultan's water palace, a.k.a. massive swimming pool complex:
We learned how batiks are made and got to roam through the racks of beautiful silk cloths:

We even meditated and did yoga at Prambanan Temple (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prambanan): On the way home, we embarassed Dyl and attacked her with puppets:
Finally, back in anthropologist zone, we observed this fantastic billboard, which is apparently a tobacco ad. The translation: "Man has desire"!:

Control

2008-07-22T03:26:00.000-04:00

I realized the other day why I was so emotionally unstable and frequently upset in India. I know now what is so hard about living there (for me, anyway). It’s the lack of control. This probably won’t surprise any of you who know me as quite the control freak and I’m sure you’re all quite thrilled to hear that I am (slowly and reluctantly) learning how to cede control. Here are a few examples of the ways I’ve been frustrated with my lack of control:

-Transportation: I don’t have my own car, bike, or scooter here, so anywhere beyond walking distance, I am dependent upon finicky rickshaw drivers. Trying to negotiate a fair price, the correct route, and safe driving is not always easy considering they see me as a giant dollar sign and there is often a significant language barrier. Giving up the freedom and control of going where I want, when I want, has been a struggle.

-Language: In addition to trying to negotiate with rickshaw drivers, I need to go shopping, make negotiations, work, and generally communicate with the world around me. This becomes very difficult with I don’t speak Hindi or Telegu, and many people don’t speak English. I no longer have the power of conversation, which leads to a significant loss of control in communication.

-Appearance: I get a lot of attention in Hyderabad based on the way I look. Stares, cat-calls, and lewd comments are part of my daily life every time I leave the house. At first, I thought that this was perhaps based on the way I was dressed. I dress conservatively by American standards, but my propensity to show my ankles and upper arms is quite scandalous in India. So, I started covering up and dressing in traditional Indian attire. Unfortunately, this hasn’t changed anything. It doesn’t matter what I wear, I get the same lewd comments and inappropriate stares all the time. Unlike in America, where I blend in, I can’t control the way people see me in India. I am a white girl. Therefore I am rich and slutty in the eyes of many Indians. No matter how much I try to blend in, I can’t control the stereotype.

-Daily Hassles: I recently bought a new water filter which needed to be delivered and installed to my home. When I asked when it would be delivered and installed, I was told “tomorrow.” So, I took the day off and waited at home all day. When I called to enquire about a delivery time I was told “in about an hour” or “first thing tomorrow”. This went on for five days. My attempts at yelling at people on the phone or going to the store where I bought it were completely fruitless. It didn’t matter. They would get to it, when they got to it. In my utter frustration I complained to a friend “what is wrong with these people, do they think I have nothing better to do than sit around all day and wait for a delivery?” Their response: “Well, in India, people who have the money for appliances also have large extended families living with them. There is always someone home who could deal with the installation, so, a weeklong wait isn’t a big deal.” I can’t control the fact that I have to take a week off of work to accomplish something by myself that a large Indian family would jointly share responsibility for. Moreover, most installation technicians are not educated enough to speak English. So trying to understand how something works or what they need to install it properly is quite difficult. Again, the control of communication is lost.

So, as you can see, I’m struggling a bit with my loss of control in India. However, it’s definitely good for my control-freak self to learn how to handle losing control. I’m also on vacation in Bali at the moment, so I don’t really have much room for complaint :)

Bali Part I

2008-07-21T21:22:00.004-04:00

Monkey baby in the monkey forest! The monkeys pretty scary and aggressive and definitely felt up one of my friends! Being Jane in the Monkey forest:
The most amazing red curry I've ever eaten. Total cost: $1.50

Sunset at Kuta beach, where I went surfing!
Falung Dafa protest parade on the beach:
Bintang in the pool:
Rice Paddies:

Health Care

2008-07-07T02:37:00.002-04:00

This morning I went to the dermatologist. The entire process went something like this:
9:15: walk into hospital and tell reception I want to see the dermatologist (no, I did not have an appointment, and yes, she was trained in the U.S.).
9:20: give them my name and and pay 300 rupees (~$7.50) for my appointment and 2 follow up visits as necessary.
9:30: see doctor.
9:45: leave doctor's office with good advice and a prescription.

That's right, the entire process took 30 minutes and cost me $7.50. At home in the U.S. I imagine it would've gone something like this:
Day 1: Call PCP and make an appointment.
Day 8: Pay $15 copay (insurance pays the other $200), spend 2 hours waiting, see PCP and get a referrral to a dermatologist. Call and make an appointment with the dermatologist.
Day 16: Pay $25 copay (insurance pays the other $300), spend 3 hours waiting, and finally see the dermatologist.

Total Cost in India: $7.50 and 30 minutes
Total Cost in America: $40 (plus insurance), 16 days indirect waiting, 5 hours direct waiting

Its no wonder our health care is the most expensive in the world!

Weekend in Bangalore

2008-06-28T03:45:00.004-04:00

Last weekend, Uma and I went to Bangalore to meet with some of my friends from Boston. They are spending a few months in India with an MIT program and so we had some fun times at historic sights and just being silly around the city.

Yeah, lets go read some non-books!

2008-06-25T04:31:00.001-04:00

Bouncy Children Only

2008-06-24T01:07:00.001-04:00

Some of my more artsy photos of Egypt...

2008-06-18T09:12:00.003-04:00

Walk Like an Egyptian

2008-06-05T12:30:00.001-04:00

Coming to you from...

2008-05-30T03:47:00.002-04:00

Kuwait! Yup, I'm in the Kuwait City International Airport taking advantage of the Free! wireless internet here while I await my connection to Cairo. I can't say I ever expected to go to Kuwait in my life, but here I am. Does it count if I don't leave the airport? I'm going to say it does.

Relative Cost

2008-05-28T01:15:00.002-04:00

Today I went to the drug store. Here was my bill:
10 pills suphedrine: Rs 7
50 mg diazepam: Rs 15
1 bag cotton balls: Rs 110

Yup, thats right, cotton balls cost 7 times Valium. And no, I did not have a prescription for the diazepam. In case you're now concerned that I have a drug problem, let me ease your mind. The 50 mg of diazepam (Valium) was in 5mg pills, which I cut in half before taking. I have TMJ and sometimes need to take a muscle relaxer before bed so that I can open my mouth without excrutiating pain when I wake up in the morning.

Charminar

2008-05-26T08:14:00.003-04:00

This weekend I went to the Charminar (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charminar) in old city Hyderabad. It was, as you can see, quite lovely.

Here I am at the top:

Here's the view from the other side:

There are lots of lovely fabric shops surrounding the Charminar:

This little boy was relentless, and ultimately successful in selling us necklaces:
Hyderabad is known for its crystal bangles, and bangles shops surround the Charminar. I am happy to report that my arms are now sparkly and shiny like a true Hyderabadi's.

Golconda Fort

2008-05-22T09:32:00.001-04:00

Last weekend I visited Golconda Fort: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golkonda

My Pale White Skin

2008-05-16T01:08:00.000-04:00

Living in India, I am obviously a minority. Moreover, my blonde hair, blue eyes, incredibly pale skin and refusal to wear the shalwar kamiz at all times exaggerates the effects of being “European”. This has some incredibly interesting effects both positive and negative.

Let’s start with the negative. Sometimes, I wear knee-length skirts. It is over 100 degrees everyday and I’ve never felt the need to maintain my calves’ privacy. This pretty much indicates that I am worse than a prostitute. I expose my legs! Moreover, pale skin is highly coveted here, so my vagrant display of pale white legs is lewd indeed. Needless to say, I am stared at pretty constantly. However, because I am pale and blonde, I’m stared at even when I’m covered up from head to toe in a shalwar. I figure I may as well give them something to stare at and wear what I’m most comfortable in.

Ok, lets move on to the positive. In spite of the fact that I’m seen as a slutty American, I can pretty much go anywhere I want and have access to the highest officials within a matter of minutes. My pale skin gives me status. Anytime I’ve gone to a foundation or business with or without an appointment, I’ve always seen the manager, CEO, etc. I get to go straight to the top simply because of the color of my skin. Do I deserve this treatment? No, certainly not. But, as an American, I get instant respect that certainly helps get things done.

Age Gap

2008-05-08T06:51:00.001-04:00

Today I had an auto-rickshaw driver who spoke English, so we chatted a bit. He asked me if I was American, what I was doing here, if I was married, etc. Then he told me that he's 28, married, and has four children. Yeah, you read that correctly, 28 and has four children.

Animal, Vegetable, or Mineral

2008-05-06T01:29:00.004-04:00

Some pictures of my favorite things: animals and fresh produce!

Awkard Americans

2008-04-30T08:20:00.001-04:00

I recently attended a conference with about 100 attendees where there was an American woman on the panel. She had worked extensively with the Indian group on a long running initiative and this conference was the launch of the next phase. She gave her speech and then started tearing up and told us she had two sons at home. One was “homegrown” (her words, NOT mine) and the other adopted. We all sat there uncomfortable trying to figure out where she was going with this. Then she said “I love them both the same.” She proceeded to compare India to her adopted son and implied that she loved the country for “adopting” her. The tears started flowing and next thing I knew all the Indian men on the panel were also crying as the whole group hugged. Did I mention that this was at a conference? On a stage? With 100 people in the audience? Yeah, leave it to the American to make things incredibly awkward.

Things I miss about the U.S.

2008-04-29T02:24:00.004-04:00

Walking down the street completely unnoticed. Anonymity.

Central Airconditioning.

Getting in my own car and driving myself wherever I want to go.

Traffic Rules.

Sidewalks and Crosswalks.

Knowing where and how to buy anything I want.

Understanding overheard conversations.

Listening and engaging in conversation without conscious effort.

Tank Tops.

Privacy.

Silence.

Fresh Air.

Rinsing my toothbrush with running water.

Bad tv shows I'm too embarassed to admit I love.

What to Wear?

2008-04-27T02:41:00.004-04:00

This morning I decided to go for a walk. I wanted to get outside before it got too hot, get some exercise, and figure out if the yoga studio was really within walking distance. So, I put on my knee-length exercise shorts, sneakers, and a t-shirt. I was in traditional, frumpy, workout wear. I headed out the back gate and started walking briskly down the hill.

I'm used to being stared at here. I have blonde hair, blue eyes, and pale skin. None of these things are common in Southern India. However, after passing about a dozen people, I realized my mistake. The neighborhood behind mine is Muslim. Here I was walking around with my arms and legs exposed and my hair in a ponytail while I passed women in Burkhas. EVERYONE stared at me as I pumped my arms and started to sweat.

Did I feel exposed? No, not really. My knees have nothing to hide. But the eyes following me told me otherwise. I cannot explain the odd sensation of feeling completely comfortable and modestly dressed and yet being seen as a woman without morals. I decided to ignore it and continued with my walk, all the while with eyes on me. Nothing about my outfit was immodest by western standards. In fact, it was rather frumpy. However, the stares I got made me feel otherwise. I imagine this is how traditional Muslim women feel when they move to a western country. They're comfortable and happy in their hijab, but people stare at them like they're a freak.

Will I wear something different tomorrow morning for my walk? Yes, I'll probably wear long pants instead of shorts. But there is no way I'm wearing long sleeves in the 90 degree early morning heat on my way to yoga class.

I’d like to turn their story into a movie starring Eva Green and Hrithik Rashan

2008-04-25T01:49:00.001-04:00

About 15 years ago Iz moved to India. Iz is a French woman who didn’t speak any Hindi, Telegu, or English. After her husband died suddenly she was left as a young single mother; she took up a friend’s offer to live with her in Hyderabad for a change of scenery and to start anew.
Vi is an Indian man from a traditional Hyderabadi family. As most educated Hyderabadis, he spoke Hindi, Telegu, and English. Fifteen years ago he was a bit of a playboy and was struggling with a business partner who was driving their pharmaceutical company into the ground.
During Iz’s first week here she joined a running club where she met Vi. While they couldn’t communicate directly, Vi managed to ask Iz on a date through a translating friend. Their date was spent with an English-French Dictionary serving as translator. At the end of their date, Vi turned to the E section. He pointed to three words: Episode, Epilogue, and Epic. Iz chose Epic.
Vi adopted Iz’s daughter and they now also have a son. Iz used her first husband’s life insurance benefits to buy out Vi’s business partner and to build a family home. Iz and Vi now run their own company and are very successful. They live with Vi’s parents like a traditional Indian couple and spend their summers in France with Iz’s family. Iz and Vi can now speak both French and English.

Party Time!

2008-04-20T01:30:00.006-04:00

This weekend I attended my first party- Hyderabadi style! It was quite entertaining although quite different than U.S. style parties. Check out some pics below.

Wedding Bells!

2008-04-17T05:04:00.000-04:00

The other day I spent a long time in the car. This means there was lots of one on one time with the driver. We were chatting and he asked me what my plans were and if I want to “settle down” in Hyderabad. I told him, “No, I plan on going back to the States where my family is.” To which he replied “Oh, so then you’re here because you want to marry and Indian.” I laughed awkwardly and he said “If you want to marry an Indian let me know and I can arrange your marriage.” Good to know that if all else fails, I can have an arranged marriage to an Indian.

ASCI

2008-04-16T06:47:00.006-04:00

My father has requested some photos of ASCI so he can get a better sense of where I am everyday. So, here are some shots of the beautiful ASCI campus:
The rose garden:
The croquet lawn:

The main lobby:
The central lawn:
The palm trees by the main building:
The path to the swimming pool, tennis courts, and croquet lawn:
It is quite a beautiful campus.

Weekend Tourism

2008-04-10T09:25:00.003-04:00

This weekend my coworker E took me around Hyderabad to see some of the sites. Now I can share the sites with you!

First we went to the Shiparamam Crafts Village where there were lots of bangles and beads:

Here's E and S with a lovely elephant there:
This is the goddess Durga. She's an incarnation of Shiva's wife and represents female strength:
There were lots of terracotta crafts at Shilparamam:
Then we went to a promenade on Hussain Nagar, the lake in the center of Hyderabad. In the distance you can see the famous Buddha statue in the center of the lake. When it was originally constructed, the boat taking it out to its pedestal tipped and the statue spent many years at the bottom of the lake. Finally, they dug it out and put it up. Oh and what's that? Yup, another rainbow....

The Legacy of Caste

2008-04-04T13:23:00.003-04:00

I and V own a pharmaceutical laboratory here in Hyderabad. They are very safety conscious and trying to raise the standard of cleanliness and precautionary measures taken in their lab. They provide safety goggles, gloves, special shoes, etc. to all of their employees to ensure that their employees are kept safe. One of their constant struggles here is getting people to use the safety equipment that is provided for them. Yesterday, I broke down in frustration and yelled at the lady who cleans the bathrooms for not wearing the gloves and shoes provided for her. The cleaning lady started crying and replied, "but ma'am, I am clean."

The Point at Which My Parents Have Heart Attacks and Beg Me to Come Home...

2008-04-04T08:42:00.003-04:00

This is the street I cross each day to go to lunch...

Why Does Democracy Work?

2008-04-03T08:52:00.000-04:00

Today at lunch my Indian colleague, an urban planner, asked me how I like the roads here in India. I told him they were terrible and I didn’t understand why there were no rules and nobody followed the ones that did exist. “Because the penalties are very low here for breaking the rules; I think in the U.S. you have very high fines.” I responded that yes, the high fines were definitely a deterrent, so why doesn’t India just raise its traffic violation fines? That way we won’t be risking our lives every time we cross the street to go to lunch. He told me that traffic violation fines can’t be raised because India is a Democracy and the people will protest and the official who raised the fines will be voted out of office. Really? Raising the fines for people breaking the law will cause someone to lose an election?
Surprisingly, this is not the first time I’ve heard this argument made here. I am currently working with a water board whose mission is to become financially self-sufficient. While it seems like common sense to me that a government agency should aim to recover its costs, this is a huge change for them. While the agency is technically bankrupt, they have always relied on Delhi to bail them out. Now, in their goal to become self-sufficient, they need to reduce inefficiencies and revisit their tariff structure. Having done the analysis, our recommendation to them is that they must raise the water tariff. They simply cannot support the cost of cleaning and providing the water without a tariff increase. But no, raising the tariff is not an option. “If we try to raise the tariff, the politicians will replace the district commissioner. People won’t stand for higher water rates.”
Ok, so yes, tax hikes aren’t popular. We know that. However, in the U.S. there doesn’t seem to be THAT big of a link between who we vote for and independent municipal agencies. Also, we seem to understand that penalties have to be sufficiently high to have order on the roads and that someone has to pay for the cost of the water we use. We don’t often protest and throw people out of office for implementing effective and necessary cost-recovery measures. Or do we? Am I just completely oblivious to local politics? Have you ever voted against someone for balancing the budget? While you may not like getting a $400 speeding ticket, do you recognize that you earned it? Do you ever think about that ticket when you enter the voting booth?
Why is it that Americans seem to accept these costs of living in society while Indians don’t? How do you decide who to vote for, or rather, who to vote against? While we could argue for days about the recent effectiveness of U.S. Democracy, there is no doubt that it is more effective than Indian Democracy. Why? What is it about our culture and democratic process that makes it work?
Please leave comments or email me about your ideas… getting people to change their thinking and action about these types of issues is the only way we will ever be able to increase the quality of life in this country.

Emotional Turmoil

2008-04-02T08:47:00.002-04:00

I’m sure that based on the heading of this post, you expect it to be about culture shock or homesickness or something else related to the fact that I now live in India. Well, it’s not. It’s about my friends--the same ones who have been causing most of my emotional turmoil for the past 7 years. On Monday night I received the following email:

Ummmm, you guys? I just got this email... What should we do?
---------- Forwarded message ----------
Hi M,
I'm writing because I have a huge favor to ask of you.I know this may come as a surprise, but I'm going to propose to D. Please don't tell anyone because I want it to be a surprise.I need your help because I don't know what kind of ring to get her. Do you have any suggestions?Best wishes,
K

D and M are two of my best friends. Obviously this was a big emotional shocker since it meant that the first of my best friends was getting married. However, that was just the beginning. On Tuesday morning, I received this email:

Hey guys,
I'm having some relationship trouble. I don't think I like K anymore. Plus, S wrote me a message on facebook, and I think I have some residual feelings for him. Sure, he used to stalk me. But he was so sweet. I am considering breaking up with K and maybe seeing S soon. But I am going to wait until after graduation to break up with K.
D

Oh shit. Total emergency mode now. K wants to marry D and D is going to dump K. But oh wait, it gets worse…

Actually, I have a confession. S came up last weekend (he told me, he didn't just show up) and I had dinner with him. It was really nice.

So now K wants our help proposing to D and D has confessed that she’s cheating on K with S. Could this be a bigger disaster? Needless to say there was lots of frantic emailing going back and forth about how to handle the situation and many discussions about the nausea, heartburn, and need for alcohol this was causing. How do we tell K to postpone a proposal? How do we react to D cheating on K? Can we tell D that K wants to propose so she realizes she has to tell him about S? There were about 2 hours of constant 2, 3, and 4-way emails across 3 different continents about how to deal with the situation. Then, right as I was on the verge of trekking out in the middle of the night in search of bottle of wine in dry-India, I get this email:

APRIL FOOLS!
Love,
D & M

Thanks guys, thanks.

Green Business Center

2008-04-01T10:25:00.002-04:00

Since I've been in Hyderabad, I've spent quite a bit of time at the Green Business Center (http://greenbusinesscentre.com/). This building is the home of the Confederation of Indian Industries in Hyderabad and was the first LEED Platinum rated building in the country (for more on LEED ratings, go here: www.usgbc.org/leed). They work to integrate environmentally friendly practices in business in India and have been quite successful. They also do a lot of neat international networking such as the Indo-Swedish Workshop on Sustainable Urban Development & Environmental Technology (yes, my colleague and I were the only white people there representing India). Below are some photos of the center:

This tower uses condensation and wind energy to create a cooling system for the building:
There are lots of solar panels on the roof:
Through the tent you can see a small boggy area where there are special plants that remove solids from wastewater as step one of cleaning all their wastewater in order to use it for gardening purposes.

Rainbows

2008-03-30T11:07:00.002-04:00

I couldn't remember the last time I saw a rainbow. However, last week I had the good fortune to see two on opposite ends of the world. The first, in Worton, Maryland:

The second in Hi-Tech City, Hyderabad:

I must be following the right path to find my pot of gold.

The Vijayawada Win-Win

2008-03-29T05:15:00.005-04:00

In India, there is no municipality which provides 24/7 running water to the public. In fact, most people do not even have a connection to the water line in their home. Instead, people both below and above the poverty line (~$1 per person per day) go to a public stand post (PSP) where the water is on for an hour or two a day. There, they fill up 20 liter containers and carry them to their homes. The water at these PSPs is free. Today, I went to a community below the poverty line which recently received household connections. Before her family received a household connection, Aditya would have to carry water from the PSP like this:

The water would be stored in containers until needed for use:
Her family lives on the side of a hill, so to get to the PSP, she’d have to go up and down this staircase:

To give you a sense of how long the staircase is, this is the view from the top of her home:
To provide enough water for her family, Aditya needed to make 10 trips in the morning and 10 trips in the evening during the times that the water was turned on at the PSPs. Each trip takes about 10 minutes (she can run up the stairs with the water on her head). So, each day, she’d spend over 3 hours gathering water for her family.
About 6 months ago, the Vijayawada Municipal Corporation (VMC) started a program to provide Household Connections (HHCs) to the poor. They reduced the installation price of a connection and charge people a reasonable rate for their water. The installation cost is about INR 2,425 ($60) and each month people pay INR 50 ($1.25) for the water which is provided to their homes. The new connections look like this:
Every six months, Aditya’s family receives a bill for their water use. She showed us this bill with pride:
Now, the VMC receives revenue for the water they provide to Aditya’s family. Aditya gains three hours a day to work or care for her family. How much is her time worth? Well, Aditya can make about INR 19 ($0.50) per hour, so her HHC provides her household with about $1.50 more each day. Remember, Aditya’s family of 5 makes less than $5 per day, so $1.50 is a huge increase in their standard of living. In fact, when you amortize capital costs and account for the water bill that Aditya’s family now receives, her family’s income has increased by about 14%. Because of a simple extended pipeline, the VMC has a new revenue stream and BPL families have increased their standards of living by over 10%. Definitely a win-win.

Hierarchy

2008-03-26T13:33:00.001-04:00

I have of course always known that India was a very hierarchical culture. After all, it is home to the Caste system. I have also been told that young people are not given freedom to implement their ideas and that they basically must do as they’re told. Before my first day at the College where I am working, I was warned that research associates are treated badly and that they are really considered second class citizens. This didn’t really make sense to me and I didn’t really understand what it meant until today. There is a dining hall on campus. It is free to students and staff members. However, eating in the dining hall is considered a privilege. As a result, research associates, who are the lowest paid staff members, must go out to eat. Furthermore, right next to the cubicles where research associates work, there is a large hall where tea is served and people relax and socialize. However, at tea time (10:30 and 4:00 daily) research associates cross through this hall around the corner, up the stairs, and down another hall in order to get their tea. They stand in the hallway and have their tea rather than relaxing on the sofas in the airy hall with everybody else. Finally, temperatures here often reach 100 Fahrenheit, and it is rarely below 85. All offices are air conditioned. However, the cubicles where research associates work only have fans. It’s going to be hard to adjust to being a research associate.

In which I realize what a rip-off U.S. retail is...

2008-03-25T11:01:00.002-04:00

Today I went shopping. While I will always stick out like a sore thumb here, I decided I should look a bit more local after being told I needed to go work in the field to “wash away the paleness.” I didn’t bother mentioning that spending time in the sun is far more likely to make me look like a tomato than to make me look like an Indian. In an attempt to fit-in, I went with my hostess to Anoki and FabIndia, two ready-made shops which cater to locals, and picked out an assortment of salwar kamiz, scarves, skirts, etc. All told, I bought 5 tops, 3 pants, 1 skirt, and 2 scarves (see below). Any guesses as to the grand total?

I've arrived!

2008-03-22T17:26:00.002-04:00

After 24 hours of relatively painless travel, I have arrived in Hyderabad. My flight was the first international flight to arrive in the new Rajiv Gandhi International Airport. This means that all passengers on the plane were instant celebrities. We came off the plane to receive blessings, roses, champagne, honorary coins, and a full fledged cocktail party. Flashes were going off everywhere and reporters were circling to get you to make a comment on the new facility. Not a bad way to be welcomed into the country. Immigration, customs, and baggage claim was a breeze and I quickly found the incredibly kind Foster family who picked me up in the middle of the night on Easter Sunday and invited me into their home. I look forward to getting to know them better and starting the real adventure tomorrow! Here are some photos of the welcome we received:

Woman's Best Friend

2008-03-18T08:31:00.005-04:00

The past three weeks of relaxing at my parents home has been fantastic for innumerable reasons. However, certain four-legged creatures have brought much of the joy:

Last Night in Boston: March 1, 2008

2008-03-04T16:37:00.007-05:00

Last Day of Gainful Employment

2008-02-29T12:02:00.003-05:00

Today is officially my last day of work at the consulting firm I've been with for the past 3 years. It doesn't feel real that I won't be back on Monday and I don't think it will feel like more than a vacation until I'm settled into my new job in India. Besides finishing up an actual consulting project this week, I have written memos, organized data, and made a lot of powerpoint template slides. What I've realized while doing this is that I actually have learned a lot in my time here and have made valuable contributions. My intellectual capital can basically be captured in a 60 page powerpoint presentation, a 5 page memo, and some very well organized databases. That may seem like a depressing realization, but its not. Considering I knew nothing about the industry in which I've worked and couldn't use powerpoint, excel, or access when I started, I think its quite an accomplishment! I only hope that my successors will be able to benefit from the materials I've left behind for them.

For Your Education...

2008-02-22T07:41:00.004-05:00

This is an article from the New Yorker in 2006. A friend sent it to me when she found out I was going to be moving to India to work on water projects. It outlines some of the problems in India quite well:

http://www.newyorker.com/archive/2006/10/23/061023fa_fact1

I'm moving to Hyderabad!

2008-02-16T19:12:00.001-05:00

Very exciting news, I finally know where I'm going, when, and why! I am headed to Hyderabad, India for the next year to work with the Administrative Staff College of India (http://www.asci.org.in/) and the Byrraju foundation (http://www.byrrajufoundation.org/) to help bring 24/7 running water to India. Its shocking that a country as high-tech as India still doesn't really have running water as we know it in the west. I leave on March 21 and can't wait to embark upon a totally new adventure. This opportunity presents me with an incredible learning situation and fits my long term goal of working on environmentally and economically sustainable projects. I'm totally overwhelmed with such a big, exciting change! Now I just have to get my visa approved...

Paperwork

2008-02-15T14:46:00.000-05:00

While I have yet to finalize my plans regarding where I'm going and when, I am in the midst of cleaning house on my current life (both literally and figuratively). What this means is that I am dealing with lots and lots of paperwork. Dealing withmy health insurance COBRA, car insurance, mail forwarding, getting security deposits, tax refunds, 401k rollover, visa applications, etc. is completely overwhelming!

I remember being a kid and not understanding how grown ups dealt with life. How do you open a bank account? How do you know how to register a car? What do you do to enroll in health insurance? The fact that my parents (and every other grown-up) seemed to just know how to do these things was a source of total bewilderment for me. My mother explained that its complicated, but you just filled out the paperwork, made some phone calls and followed up on things. Well, that was an understatement. While I was amazed by the ability of grown-ups to deal with life as a kid, I'm more amazed by it as an adult! Clearing fraud from my bank account, applying for more pages in my passport, finding housing abroad and planning side trips with friends are not easy things to accomplish.

If they overwhelm me, a fairly intelligent and well-educated person with relatively simple life, how do other people deal with them? I can't imagine dealing with these logistics while also owning a home, raising kids, and being responsible for all their paperwork too. What is even more amazing is that all these things do seem to get done. In spite of the frustration, incompetence, and ignorance I have felt, I've managed to take care of the paperwork in my life. Maybe by the time I get to home ownership and children I'll be an expert on paperwork and it will be a snap.

As a side note, I recently had my passport returned to me after requesting additional pages. I opened my passport to find new pages TAPED in. Yes, they took clear plastic tape and used it to stick in some new pages. I was shocked. How incredibly unofficial and slightly embarassing. "Yes immigration officer, this is my official document stating who I am and granting me entry into the country, please don't mind the fact that it's taped together."

One

2008-01-30T13:45:00.000-05:00

Ok, lets start by clearing something up. I am the first to admit that my blog name seems to be a bit, well, x-rated. However, let me assure you that nothing will appear here which would require a separate room of your local video store. In fact, it is probably safe to say that all blog entries will be strictly rated PG (PG-13 at the most, I'm sure). Why the slightly risque name? Perfectly Sinful was the name of my first horse. (Actually it was Perfectly Cinful, spelled with a C for her lineage, but I decided that was stupid and changed it). Acquiring, owning, and selling Perfectly Sinful (whom I called Lyra) taught me about perserverence, hard work, love, heartbreak, bravery, tears, laughter, adventure, and joy. In short, she taught me almost everything of importance that I know.

It is because of these lessons that I am doing something which simultaneously terrifies and thrills me. I have quit my cushy desk job, eschewed business school, packed my bags and am heading overseas for an undetermined length of time. I plan on exploring the world while trying to make some small difference volunteering with various NGO's. I know that the lessons Lyra taught me will come in handy and will be retaught and reinforced. Since I am incapable of keeping a journal for myself and want to document my adventure, this blog will serve jointly as my communication device with friends and family and as a virtual scrapbook.

A good scrapbook is made up of lots of fanstastic pictures, so let me conclude this post with one of my favorite pictures from a recent trip to India:

Elephants on Parade!